Honouring a lost loved one on Valentine’s Day
When you lose a partner or spouse, there are a number of occasions that can prove particularly difficult. Valentine’s Day, especially the first one after your loss, can be a painful reminder of that person you miss so much. Even if the wound is relatively fresh, it’s important to remember that you need not exclude yourself from the celebrations. There are a few ways of helping the day pass by quickly and with fewer tears.
Firstly, think about all the things you used to enjoy as a couple. In particular, think about any Valentine’s Day traditions that you may have held on to for your time together. Some enjoy a romantic dinner at home, others revisit special locations as they take a trip down memory lane, and there’s also the exchange of gifts. You might not be able to pamper your partner anymore but you can still buy a bouquet of flowers.
If your loved one was burried, you can visit their grave and set some flowers down on Valentine’s Day. Perhaps light a candle and spend a few moments to take it all in. Give yourself as much time as you need before you leave. If your loved one was cremated and you are able to visit the site where their ashes were scattered, then you could spend some time here too. You could set a bouquet down on the ground or you can scatter flower petals.
Hold on to something of theirs throughout the day and it will feel like you are taking them with you wherever you go. You might like to light a candle by their photo as the day comes to an end. For some, music also helps since it can be wonderfully soothing.
Another important point to remember is that you need not spend Valentine’s Day alone. Your friends and family will most likely be more than happy to join you or have you join them. Try to think of all the positive memories and good times you shared and allow your heart and mind to heal at
its own pace.